When Disappointment Drowns our Dreams

Some believe that the prevention of disappointment lies in never desiring, dreaming, or expecting anything - or at least, expecting anything GOOD.  Others believe the safest insurance is to always expect the WORST. I have tried that existence and found it to be highly unsatisfactory.

Someone once told me that disappointment comes when we decide what something should look like.

We lock into a picture of what is “good” or “best” based on our current perspective and anything or anyone (usually our spouse or kids) that does not follow our written script is disappointing. The first problem with this approach is again the illusion of control. To think that we can influence all people and events in our world in a manner that would ensure the safety of our own hearts is an impossibility that actually ensures a life of frustration and disappointment. The second problem is a world view that there is always the proverbial “shoe” ready to drop. What we expect and look for in life or in people, we eventually find, once again, ensuring an existence rife with fear and disappointment.

So perhaps there is another possibility - to live in a state that desires and dreams but keeps an openness and flexibility.  This, of course, is made easier if your world view includes some ideas of hope and justice. 

“Good things happen to good people, bad things happen to bad people” is a commonly held view...until something bad happens to us or someone we love. 

“God helps those who help themselves” is a common view for all strivers and perfectionists...probably because it reinforces the illusion of control. 

Personally, the only view that keeps me in a state of desire minus disappointment is “God works all things together for the good of those who love Him”.  Then I have to surrender my idea of “good” and I have to ask myself, “Do I trust that He knows what's good for me?” and “What do I believe about His heart for me – that His “good” will always equal pain?” (If so, then there are bigger issues to tackle that would take a much larger article.)  Or do I believe that He fashioned my heart and its desires and wants to partner with me to see my life be abundant and fulfilling? 

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life” Prov 13:12.

Believe me, He gets it. He is not out to keep us heartsick as some way of making us mature or humble.

But, if we are finding ourselves in a state of disappointment, perhaps the question to ask is - how have I taken this longing and decided how it should be fulfilled or what it is supposed to look like? Perhaps there is a different, perhaps an even better, path to seeing our dreams become reality – if we are open.