Living in Full Color

I just spent a super weekend with my sister doing things that make me feel alive.  They may seem like a strange combination to be wrapped into one person, but they are all a little piece of my passions.  Saturday - got a new tattoo of a hawk, Sunday - saw Riverdance...again, Monday - attended the Memorial Day ceremony at the Vietnam Memorial in Portland.

While driving home, I was talking to my sister about dreams, goals, and desires.  Like many people, especially women, in our busy, achievement-driven, production-centered society, she is recognizing that all her time and efforts are pretty much centered on her "roles" - wife, mother, home school teacher, cook, housekeeper, taxi driver, and the list goes on.  "Do you see this as a problem?" I carefully probed.  "Yes!" she answered, "But what do I DO?"

But before we get to that issue, let me ask you - Are you willing to prioritize your desires into your schedule?  If you are like most, the answer is a noncommital "I think so".  You realize at some level you should, but are not sure why it just never seems to happen.  So let me ask you question #2 - "Do you tend to feel that most activities should be productive or somehow benefit someone else?" Aha, therein lies the problem.

You, my friend, are living in grayscale instead of full color.  Years ago, my sister had seen a dance production that left her breathless.  I reminded her of that experience and suggested, "You need to do more with that!"  She gave me a puzzled look as if asking "what does that have to do with anything?"  We must make room in our lives for those things which make us feel most alive.  I am not sure that we choose them or if somehow they are prewired into us genetically, spiritually, or temperamentally.  For me, it is Celtic music/dance and Veterans - passions that I feel in my bones, if that is possible.  I don't think I can even explain them and I don't feel I need to defend them - they just ARE a part of me.

Tapping into those things that are uniquely US is what causes us to live in full color and that, in and of itself, IS PRODUCTIVE.  The more alive I am, the more life I bring to my roles as wife, mother, counselor, writer, gardener, or whatever.

There is a reason that God made flowers in an array of colors.  If He were only all about duty, obligation, and production, I don't think He would have bothered with colors or flavors (and don't even get me started on that topic!).  That tells me He is also about passion, pleasure, and enjoyment.
 
So be free, my friends, to desire, dream, and live in full color!   

The Strength of Vulnerability

When did RISK become...too risky?

I read a FB post this week that said "Fear - just a thought: No one is afraid of heights, they are afraid of the fall. No one is afraid to play, they are afraid to lose. No one is afraid of the dark, they are afraid of what’s in it. No one is afraid to say “I love you”, they are afraid of the response !" - RaeAnn

So sadly true. The fact of human nature is that we will do more to avoid the possibility of something negative than we will do to pursue the things we desire! So because of the risk of losing, we don't play and never get to win - because of the risk of rejection, we don't love and never get the thrill of being loved - because of the risk of falling, we never climb to see the view.

And the only thing worse than experiencing these horrible things, is to be blindsided by them.  So being the "smart" people we are, we just expect the worst at all times.  Why is it that some people are more comfortable with failure or chaos?  Because it fits their expectations.  Success and happiness
cannot be trusted - after all, we've been taught "all good things must come to an end?" Who wrote that anyway?

I love the paradox of a flower's strength.  They seem so delicate, yet will determinedly push their way through dirt, rock, even concrete to get a chance to bloom.  They actually require incredible strength to fight for the opportunity to be their most fragile.

The same is true for us. It takes great strength and courage to live a life that is open and vulnerable - to play and risk the loss, to love and risk the hurt, to climb, and risk the fall. But isn't the purpose of a flower to actually bloom?  Isn't the purpose of life to actually live?

Why do I make my fate certain by living in fear rather than living in possibility?  Why do I shrink my existence to a realm of perceived safety at the cost of really getting to feel the sun and bloom in all my beautiful vulnerability?

I'd love to hear from some others of strength - how are you going to begin to RISK again?

If a Tulip Could Talk

4 inches - the depth that a tulip bulb should be planted.

Tulips do speak to me - they teach me - about the seasons of life, about the purpose of our winters, about the hope of spring. 

I see my life like a little garden that God and I work on together. We plant some things and cultivate other things.  Some things in my garden need pruned and other things need to be weeded out.  But I have never believed in a Secret Garden - what a waste that would be.  So here is the key to my garden - you are invited to come in and explore.  I will share what lessons I have from my little corner of the world and if any should bring a spot of color and hope to yours, than I will have succeeded  - blooming where I'm planted!