The Call of LIFE

A pregnant friend of mine posted a comment on her FB page recently about the issue of people touching her belly without seeking prior permission, or in some cases, without even knowing her… or that she is for sure pregnant!  “Aw, are you pregnant?” whilst reaching out and making contact!  This is indeed a strange phenomenon of humanity. I can’t imagine that all these people go around violating physical boundaries as a regular habit, but there is some mysterious power that pregnant bellies have that causes people to lose all sense of politeness and propriety.  It’s like a moth being drawn to a light…Must…touch…the….belly!

I believe that mysterious power is LIFE and LIFE has a way of drawing humanity toward it.  It’s the same with puppies and spring and sunrises.  They all represent new beginnings, hope, potential - and they captivate us.  We were designed to be drawn to LIFE but can so easily get distracted, maybe blinded, by the dismal and despairing.  Look at the news headlines and the content of nightly TV dramas to see where we tend to give our focus.

The tulips in my yard are just beginning to open.  To be honest, I forgot what color they were.  For the last couple of weeks, I kept looking at the green buds in anticipation of the day they would be revealed.  Another example of LIFE calling out to us.  I am not sure why, but I feel it is a crucial time for us to heed Its call.  Do not listen to the call of fear and hatred that would cause us to dismay.  Hear LIFE’s call in whatever way It is speaking to you. Take hope. Believe in new beginnings.  Grab potential…but maybe leave the pregnant ladies alone. 

 

Oh, and by the way, my tulips are yellow.  How does LIFE call out to you?

Control

Three events converged in my experience and exploded in an “Aha” moment, as God basically said, “Did you get that?”  – the bulbs sprouted, my son played basketball, a song played.

Event #1 – I went for a run around my normal neighborhood route and noticed all of the crocus, daffodils, and tulips that are beginning to poke up despite the fluctuating temperatures and predictions of coming snow.  It’s a process of nature as automatic as the constant sequence of waves on the beach or the rising and setting of the sun.

Event #2 – My 9-year-old son was progressing through his basketball season at the local YMCA and, to the chagrin of both of his basketball playing parents, was getting worse.  Instead of a nice and easy arched shot at the hoop, he began to chuck the ball with both hands like a chest pass.  We attempted numerous times to offer him some tips or practice sessions, but he was determined that he would do it HIS way.  It didn’t matter that we had years of experience and knowledge or that his way was obviously NOT working. He was not interested in feedback or coaching.

Event #3 – I was listening to my playlist and heard one of my current favorite worship songs.  A phrase, common in a lot of Christian music, stopped me in my tracks.  It was like one of those moments in a movie where the character flashes back through the sequence of clues that piece together in that moment to an epiphany.  The phrase was “I give you control”.

What an absurd thought!  WE are GIVING God control?!  The God of ALL power - the CREATOR of the universe? He created pretty much everything in the world to operate automatically by instinct or season.  In the fall, the geese just know when to fly south; the leaves automatically begin to turn colors and fall.  Now with the approaching of spring, the daffodils and crocus poke back up above the dirt unbidden, the daphne begins to open its purple, fragrant buds, the rose bushes and honeysuckle vines show signs of new growth although they have been neglected for months. Nature in His hand is perfect balance and beauty.   

It occurred to me that almost everything in nature operates in this automatic manner…all except us. While I have long recognized the gift of free will, I have never considered that humans operate with the power of choice in a manner NO other part of creation exercises.  The All Powerful God has designed it so we give Him back the control of our lives that He originally gave to us.  But like my son, we often willfully resist His offer for instruction and guidance, to our own detriment.  We are convinced we can do this on our own, despite the evidence that it’s not working.  Only when I surrender to His wisdom and knowledge and perfect love does my life return, like all nature, to perfect balance and beauty.    

Bloom

The phrase "Bloom Where You're Planted" may sound like a cheesy garden plaque, but it is one slogan that should be hanging in my garden or, better yet, taped to my forehead. I have been accused in the past of being "non assuming to a fault". Well, not really "accused" - more like labeled. It's true that I will tend not to speak up unless called out or asked specifically for my input; I assume my thoughts or opinions are not very unique and, therefore, obvious to most. But you throw the word "fault" in there and it sounds like a bad thing. How can what seems to me like prudence and humility be a fault? Aren't there proverbs about the wisdom of just keeping your mouth shut? Perhaps because it is, at its root, a fear of standing out... Risking failure... Embarrassment... Being wrong. Perhaps it's an excuse to stay in the shadows, so as not to be sunburned by the limelight. Well, I tried that, three times now in three different settings, and what I found is that I got burned anyway. Even while trying not to step on toes or overstep my bounds, I seemed to create enemies.

So, I am trying a new tactic...confident boldness...well, my version which may look more like subtle offerings to some but I assure you, requires great courage on my part. I'm going to quit looking for evidence that I'm average and start to assume that God put me where I'm at because I carry some unique gift to that moment. It strikes me that this is not pride or foolishness, the opposites of my excuses "humility" and "prudence", but really a greater level of trust in God that I can be fully me and it will be good enough. That offering more of whatever He's put in me for that moment is being a good steward, a faithful servant, a trusting daughter.

This may seem obvious for some of you confident extraverts but I'm sure there are some who, like me, have kept to the shadows and held your cards close. I thought the shadows would be safer, but they weren't. I was willing to sacrifice some effectiveness or purpose if the payoff was never being disliked or thought ill of - it was a bad deal. So don't be afraid to open up...show your true colors... and BLOOM.

The Chrysanthemum and the Crocus

Does the chrysanthemum envy the crocus? While the spring sun comes out and brings the crocus to life and color, the chrysanthemum remains dormant.  It is not yet its season.

I have a “crocus” in my life and while I wait and pray and hope and watch, the sun’s rays are shining down on her, blessings and favor pouring out on her like spring showers.  Some would look at a friend’s fortune and think, “Why are they so lucky? Or loved? Or special?” -  which is just one quick, slippery step from “Why am I so unloved? Has God forgotten or forsaken me?”

To you, I offer this perspective: We all have our seasons – our “springs” when we feel full of life and hope, our “summers” when God feels so close and all seems right in our world, and also the “winters” when we have little but a meager faith in promises as yet unseen.  It is the grace and divine timing of God that we don’t all experience the same season at the same time.

One of the reasons it is important to have others to grow with is to remind ourselves that God is the same, no matter what season I am currently in.  I may struggle with doubt and fear during my “winter” until I see the hand of God at work in my “crocus” friend.  I may not feel the warmth of His rays but I see evidence of His unchanging character and ways, still bringing the dormant to life in His time.

So, do not envy the crocus…be encouraged by it. 

 

And to you, Crocus – do not hold back in fear of making us Mums feel bad.   Bloom to your fullest in all of your wonderful color to restore in us the hope of our own spring.

There is Hope in 2013

At the beginning of the New Year, I typically wonder, with a mix of excitement and trepidation, what the coming year will bring.  Recent tragedies can cause us to wonder what is in store for our families, communities, world – an easy path to fear and hopelessness.  And then, I remember the roses…

I admit I am a creature of habit and ritual, one of which is to always stop at a particular rose bush on my jogging route and bury my face into one of its newly opened blooms, inhaling as deeply as my lungs will allow.  This little ceremony has led me to coin the phrase, “As long as the rose is fragrant, there is hope in the world.”

Despite the, at times, overwhelming evidence that our world is rapidly hurtling toward its destruction, the rose reminds me that we are not forsaken.  My hypothesis has been that if God still cares enough to place a drop of beauty in the smell of a flower or a color in the sunset sky, then surely, He has a plan for the rest of it.

In the last couple of years, having worked with dozens of people with clinical depression, I’ve become more convinced than ever of the intricate detail of God’s master design.   To oversimplify the vastness of the human brain, certain chemicals, such as dopamine, that improve mood and cause us to feel happy and content are released by certain sounds, colors, smells, and tastes.  Ironically demonstrating the point, the very moment I was reading online about the connection between music and dopamine release, my four-year-old son crawled up in my lap with my phone, found a song with a Celtic flute playing, and immediately went limp with a contented sigh!

My new hypothesis goes something like this: God, in His wisdom, foresight, and loving care, knew that life would carry its burdens and griefs;  He knew that evil would rise at times and try to convince us there is no hope for humanity or our world. And so, He strategically placed certain sights, smells, tastes, and sounds within creation as natural antidepressants.  This is my definition of “beauty” – that which calls to me, draws me in, and speaks to me of hope…or scientifically, those things that particularly cause a release of dopamine in my brain.

Hope is out there for those who recognize and embrace it.  During those times when you are feeling low, depressed, or hopeless, remember to light that candle, turn on that favorite CD, and, most especially, always stop to smell the roses.

Water Your Daisies

In a recent conversation, a woman was expressing to me the frustration she feels with her life. While her 40^th birthday looms ahead, she does not yet have a sense of who she is or what she wants for her future. “I thought that going back to school would give me that,” she explained, “but I still feel lost.”

My response left her even more puzzled - “Don't forget to water your daisies,” I said.

You see, I love my yard and my flowers, but after 10 years of trying to tame this hillside, I am still overwhelmed at the work yet to be accomplished. Granted, it looks a lot better than it did 10 years ago, but I still cannot look out at it without seeing the long list of things left to do. On the list of projects? A fence – but do I want chain link or wooden slat? New bark mulch – but should I use fir, hemlock, cedar, compost? The sloped path is too steep, but how best to grade it? Should we keep the high maintenance grass in the middle section or add a gazebo...maybe? Or a fountain? Are we ever going to get those blackberries under control? And don't even get me started about the varieties of perennials and shrubs to debate. And what is the point of debating without the funds to make any of it happen?

Our back deck overlooks this half-wild terrain, with a few specially placed pots which I have filled with colorful annuals. This year, I found a most captivating color of Gerbera daisy, not quite red but darker than a hot pink. I absolutely love it and while many things in what I call the “back 40” remain severely neglected...ok, avoided, if truth be told... I faithfully water the daisies that bring me a brief feeling of joy every time I see them out my living room window.

My point is that the Big Picture of life can be so overwhelming with its options and questions that we lose sight of the more minor things that bring us little moments of pleasure and contentment. Life, like my back yard, is a constant work in progress that I am not sure ever reaches the state of “finished project”. So along the journey, it is important to find those little things that bring us Life, Joy, or Delight; to give ourselves permission to set aside the major life issues to enjoy a moment of fun; to invest in those things that are unrelated to our larger life mission but make life more enjoyable.

I don't have the whole landscaping of my life mapped out...but for this season, I am enjoying my daisies.

Pruning or Punishment

I have committed one of the mortal sins of gardening and I am ashamed. I violated the third commandment – Thou shalt prune regularly.

I have a narrow strip of flower bed that sits on the edge of our property, hidden from view by our vehicles. I admit, it is sorely neglected. There is no sprinkler system on that side so I planted three different, low-maintenance shrubs that would grow up to be a screen between our property and the neighbors' even more neglected yard - two flowering red currants, two blue star junipers, and two barberry bushes. My faulty thinking was leave them to their own and they would grow large and full. Now, a few years later, I finally came to accept that they are a mess. The two larger ones ran wild and crazy - completely misshapen masses of chaos. They crowded out the other smaller ones which remained scraggly, sad little plants. To be frank – it was ugly.

So, out came my pruning shears, big and small, and away I hacked. I shaped, molded, and thinned, and by the time I was done, my pile of cut branches was bigger than the plants that remained. Some spots are now bare but will have a chance to grow in more evenly. Other places look dead, as I had to cut them back far enough that the dead undergrowth was revealed.

The same is true for us – more is not necessarily better. Our lives can become misshapen masses of chaos as we try to be all and do all - until God comes at us with his pruning shears. As He hacks away, the bare and dead areas of our lives are revealed. We can easily make the mistake of feeling the process is cruel and hurtful. Maybe we feel we are being “demoted” or punished.

I can assure you, that is not the intent. A wise gardener (One wiser than I) knows the pruning is for a purpose. The gardener is the one with the greater perspective. He knows better than we when our lives are getting out of control – when one area is overgrown and other areas are left bare; when the outside looks green and healthy but underneath there are places drying up and dieing; when our zeal for being “bigger and better” is actually overshadowing others – after all, a garden is never just about one plant.

Pruning is not a one time event but a regular part of a gardener's routine (or should be). So, embrace the pruning seasons of your life. He is making your life a beautiful part of an even more beautiful arrangement.